This position feels so familiar. Two months ago Trent and I questioned our decision to send Maggie into surgery for her Fontan heart repair. She appeared really healthy and we feared the consequences of our choice. God showed us, in several ways, that we were making the right decision because even if she looked good on the outside, she was a wreck on the inside.
I was just sitting in the TCH cafeteria remembering those days as we once again prepare to send her back to surgery. I really can't put into words how good she looks so you should just see this video that Trent captured last night of her running down the hallways of the hospital.
The problem is that once again she is a disaster on the inside. Her left lung is full of fluid and it is getting worse. Because it has been coming on slowly, she has adapted to the demand. Her surgeon says that any day now it will become emergent and that is not the surgery that we want to be going into.
As I was reflecting on 2 months ago and then today, I felt like God said to me, "That is exactly how you were before you found me- looking good on the outside, running around without a care in the world, but a complete mess on the inside and in danger of what might come next without immediate intervention."
Does that sound familiar? Maggie's situation right now is the perfect illustration of how we all look apart from Christ. How many people can you think of who have slowly adapted to the consequences of what is taking place inside of them such that they still look like they have it together when in reality, their situation is catastrophic with out a surgeon, The Surgeon?
So as I sit next to my seemingly healthy, but desperately sick, child and wait for her surgeons to bring her to a right place, I am thankful for God's healing power in my own life and trust that He has hers too.