Why I Have Been Healed of the Need For Perfect Children - PART 2

I remember where I was standing when I received the call from AWAA (our adoption agency) in response to my application to adopt Ruthie.   I had applied to adopt a healthy girl from China and they were calling for my interview.  That phone call is similar to your first ultrasound when you are pregnant.  It is the "oh my gosh this is really happening" moment that gives you butterflies in your stomach and makes your heart skip a beat.  

I remember the intake coordinator asking if I was interested in adopting a child with special needs and me immediately responding that no we were pursuing a healthy child.  It felt a bit like the ultrasound technician had asked me if I was hoping for a healthy child or a child who would have a lifetime of challenges.  The answer seemed obvious to me.  

I hung up from that phone call and God said to me, "you might want to re-think that answer."  One thing led to another and we said yes to a beautiful  2 year old little girl with Arthrogryposis or as China put it, "both hands endoduction abnormality".  That leads me to #5 on my list of why I have been healed of the need for perfect children:

(numbers 1-4 can be found HERE)

5. When I Opened Myself Up to Less Than Perfect Children Through Foster Care and Adoption, I Opened Myself up to Participating in the Gospel.

Oh how thankful I am that I have not limited my life experiences to what I could handle, and thank you Jesus for breaking me of the need to make my life a safer place.  A life marked by steps of faith and participation in the Gospel is more fulfilling than any life marked by self-prescribed security. 

6. They Have Helped Me to Understand God as Redeemer.

My favorite attribute of God is by far that of redeemer and it is most evident in the lives of my adopted children.  God took seemingly tragic stories of abandonment and imperfection and used them to bring my girls into loving homes where they would be exposed to His love and truth.  Now that is good stuff.  

7. They Remind That My Chief Responsibility is to Raise Children with Good Moral Character.  

When they are chasing a spot on the team, a certain level of beauty, or another accolade, the first thing to go is their character.  The message we inadvertently send is one that encourages them to make their own name great.  Can you raise high achieving children with good moral character?  Of course you can, but I believe you will agree that picture is not the norm.  I want to raise children who succeed and even excel at what they are called to, but more than that, I want to raise good, God-fearing, faithful people.

8.  They are Teaching Me to Slow Down and Have More Patience.

Funny enough this one was added by my husband while we are on a road trip, with Maggie screaming in the back seat.  Yes, this is another one that applies to all parenting but even more so to kids with special needs.  We move a little slower with Jack and plan for extra time when we need to go somewhere.  Likewise, we are accustomed to putting everything on hold for weeks and even months at a time when someone needs surgery or suffers a stroke.  Special needs kids may achieve their milestones at a slower rate or take a little longer to do their homework.  Whatever their challenge, in some way they teach you to slow down, be patient, and give priority where priority is due.

I asked you guys to send me your own thoughts on this topic and my friend, Amy, wrote, "It teaches us to rejoice in the small steps forward and enjoy the little moments of greatness."  I think that supports what I am trying to say here too because when we slow down, we can take it all in, and find beauty in unexpected places. 
Our special needs children teach us that we don't need to fear God's sovereignty, but trust it and find hope in it.  It is good because He is good.  Ruthie Henderson's presence in my family is a daily testimony of that truth. 

9. God is Using Them to Teach Me to Find My Hope in His Sovereignty Instead of My Circumstances. 
There is an entire chapter in my book about this that, Lord willing, some of you will get to read some day.  That said, if I know God is good and I trust that He is sovereign, then I can find hope in the truth that nothing occurs outside of His allowing it to happen.  It is His goodness that allows me to turn my eyes away from my circumstances and find peace in His plan.

One of the hard parts about stepping out in faith is that you don't have the full story and you have to relinquish your control to God's plan.  God in turn gives you what you need to take each step along the way.  When we were given Ruthie's paperwork, we were told that it was just her hands.  When we met her, it was clear that her elbows and shoulders were involved too.  I am actually thankful that we didn't know everything because I fear that we might not have had what it took to say "yes".  God knew what we needed to take the next step and He guided us through the process, step by step, according to His plan.  

My friend Cara has a similar testimony and left this comment for me, "Frankly, looking back I am glad that I didn't know Sidney's ortho needs entailed more.  I needed to see for myself that none of it mattered"

God is good, His sovereignty is good, His plan is good, and Ruthie Mei Henderson is my daily reminder of that goodness.