If you have visited here before, you can probably see that I have changed the name of the blog again. I started blogging at 4URuthie to tell the story of our journey to adopt our 1st daughter. I changed it to Mountains for Maggie when we were praying for God to move mountains on behalf of our 2nd daughter. Well now it is no longer just Ruthie’s or Maggie’s stories. It is now our family's story, and the stories of those we share life with, as we Conquer Mountains together. Both ConqueringMountains.net and 4URuthie.blogspot will lead here.

About Me

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I am a pastor's wife, mother of 4 kids (2 adopted and 3 with special needs), physical therapist, and photography junky. This is where it all comes together for me. Feel free to join along as I process life out loud.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Sibling Rivalry! UGH!

I have many themes in my life- pastor's wife, working mom, adoptive parent, mother of children with special needs, etc. The one that seems to be taking most of my attention right now though is opponent of sibling rivalry.

My first born, from what I have read, is a very typical first born. He wants to be in charge, wants 90% of your attention, and is still mad at the 2nd child for shortening his 18 year reign as the only child to just 2 years. My 2nd born (now middle child) is also a typical 2nd born. He is a peacemaker, charmer, adores his older brother, and would do anything to gain his approval. It is really sad to watch this exchange because I feel as though I am constantly sticking up for Sam to protect his sweet heart against the jealous verbal attacks of his brother.

Don't get me wrong, we have periods where it is not that bad and they actually enjoy each other, but we also have periods where it is the running theme of our home.

SO I HAVE A PLAN: Follow my reasoning and tell me if I am crazy....
*I want my children to love each other and to live their lives relating to each other in a manner that demonstrates that love.
*The greatest demonstration of love ever was Christ dying on the cross for you and me
*That demonstration of love was an act of self sacrifice. Christ was a servant and we are the recipients of that service- demonstration of love.
*Often times we have to live something out in order to make it real in our hearts- you know loving a spouse or a brand new baby. We have to "fill" the role sometime to "feel" the role
*HERE IS MY POINT- I am going to start teaching my children to serve one another in order to try and change the atmosphere around here. I am thinking simple things like taking each other's dishes to the sink or putting up each other's laundry.

This may be a total flop, but I think my reasoning is good and I am praying that God will reward my efforts and intentions with heart change in my boys. I will let you know how it goes.

PICTURE MOMENT- we had a bow making night at the church last night and we made these for Ruthie. I was worried they would be too big but my friend Elita assured me that there is no such thing.


Eleanor said...

They do LOVE each other! Just let someone pick on them and see how they will stand up for each other.
Best Wishes on carrying out your plan :)

Naomi said...

Some wonderful ideas there Ginny! I may well follow suit and try them out myself.... having two boys also, they are pretty much the same as yours!!! Let us know how it goes!!!

Bows are beautiful btw!!! And so is little Ruthie as always!!!

Cannot believe we'll get to meet Trent soon!

Anonymous said...

Good ideas; I think too, parents need to remember that there are developmental milestones tied into relating to others. At their ages, things are very much concrete and related to self (and all of this is not entirely bad). I think it's great to lay the foundation for loving others, to provide tangible ways to practice this, but realize that the intrinsic desire to do so comes with growth.

Lillie's Mom said...

This is one more area in which I can totally identify with you...my kids (11, 12 & 13) are each one year apart in age and the competition around here drives me batty! Modeling selflessness and continued instruction regarding preferring others etc. hasn't helped. Teaching them that fair does not mean equal hasn't done a thing. Giving them opportunities to serve one another? Nope- hasn't helped. They show a servant's heart to people outside the house, but to each other? No. So since we've been so successful thus far, we're gonna throw another 11 yr. old into the mix- just to make it more interesting. Heaven help us all! ;)

Cheri said...

Oh, let me know how your plan works!

Love the bows you made for your sweet baby girl! I just love her smile!

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