I was convicted this weekend that instead of turning to Christ during this difficult wait, I have been focusing on everything else to help me get through this time. I have been working more hours, focusing on this San Leon outreach, writing papers for my class that aren't due until May, you get the picture. I knew that it wouldn't do me any good to focus on Ruthie because it hurts too much and I can't change that, but I have missed the blessings and lessons that come with focusing on my Father. As I confessed this yesterday, I told Him that I just don't know what to say or where to start and He led me to this.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
How great to know that when we do not know what to do or how to pray that we don't have to just go and keep ourselves busy, but we can rest in Christ and know that the Spirit will help us and intercede on our behalf.
I struggle with how to pray because I trust that God already knew on the day that He created Ruthie exactly when she would enter our family, so who am I to pray that is sooner? So then what is this wait for? Well, I think it has to be for Him to teach us something and conform us into His image. I find peace today knowing that my comfort comes from the one who has also waited on an adoption when He waited for us to be adopted as his children through Christ.