Sunday, April 26, 2009

Not in My Experience

So we sang this Chris Tomlin song in church today, Everlasting God, and I have probably heard it 100 times before, but today it stood out. You know the part where it says over and over,

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

and then he repeats it again...
Do you think he keeps repeating it to try and convince himself that it is true? All I know is that I wanted to shout out this morning, "FOR WHO?" because that has not been my experience.

I am sure Trent preached a good sermon this morning, but I spent most of my 45 minutes tuning him out (sorry babe) to ponder those times when I have had to "wait on the Lord" and I don't believe any of those were times where my strength was rising, but instead they were times when God was having to whittle me down to someone who could not function on my own, but only in Him.

I think back to my most recent wait before this one when we were moving to Houston and waiting on our house to sell. I just wanted it to sell quickly so I could essentially "get the move over with", but God had other plans and He used that time to break me of my self sufficiency and teach me valuable lessons.

Another time, long before that one, I was waiting on the Lord for months for his direction in a relationship. It was draining and I ended up with a locked jaw on the back side of it from stress, but again God taught me a lot in those days as He broke me of my plans and expectations.

You know the most encouraging thing about both of those scenarios is what happened after the waiting, whittling, and breaking. 6 months after ending that other relationship, I was engaged to Trent and 2 years after my move to Houston I can honestly say that as hard as it has been and as much as I HATE the traffic here, these have been the greatest 2 years yet with my family and God has blessed us.

So maybe it is in that whittled down weakness that God's strength is made perfect and His perfect plan is put into action. It is a good thing because from what I read, I am going to need his perfect strength to get through this next stage. Oh I wonder what the blessing will look like.

So whittle away Lord as hard as it may be I know that you have something incredible for us around the corner. Please just be patient with me as you know, I am not an easy piece of wood to work with.

And to Chris Tomlin- I think I know what you were trying to say and I like the rest of the song. :)

1 comment:

Rose said...

I completely understand! My husband and I talk about this a lot, it took us a loooong time to get pregnant (over two years) and a loooooong time to sell our house (close to a year!), we think that God often asks us to wait specifically for a reason- what that is, we aren't sure!