I was thinking about something last night as I was trying to lay this down and be done with it. The last piece of hope I have is that God has related to us regularly over the last few years as a restorative God. I am not sure of a better word. I guess you could also say "after the last minute" God? I will tell you what I mean and then maybe you can think of a better word.
When we got the offer to move here so Trent could pastor this church 4 years ago, we felt God saying "no" so we let it go. Then 3 months later the offer came back around in perfect timing and God said "yes". We had completely let it go. Then when we were waiting on our referral approval for Ruthie, the last batch arrived that ours should have for sure been in and we got the call of "we don't know why but it didn't come". I cried and grieved that really hard for several hours. Then we got a call of "Oh we just found out that it was sent to the wrong agency". Finally, when we were waiting on our Travel Approval we were told that it had to arrive by Friday July 3rd for us to make the July travel group. Well the office ended up being closed on the 3rd so they didn't discover it until Monday the 6th. We were told it was too late. Then China granted us special approval and we traveled with 2 days notice!
My point is that with a history like that, I can't fully release this hope from my heart until we see the Neurosurgeon in 2 weeks. I have to admit that the chances of him saying something different are really slim, but I just can't let go yet. Oh Lord won't you come in at the last minute this time and do what you have done 3 times before?