So it hit me today and I have been feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was crying while driving to a wedding thinking about how it may some day be necessary to back out of this process if it appears that this delay is God's way of telling us that Wen Mei is not ours. I reached over and turned on my radio and of course the lyrics of "While I am Waiting" came through my speakers.
I will move ahead,
bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
Funny thing is that I wasn't crazy encouraged but instead was kind of frustrated because I am really growing weary in this waiting thing and when you are in the middle of a good pity party you aren't always ready for God to crash it with truth. I felt like saying, "Thanks God for the message to press on but couldn't you have played the song about relief being just around the corner?"
So resolved to continue my pity party, I sent emails (invitations) to adoption friends about how I was finally reaching my end and I think we might have to just hear this silence as God's will and move on.
Finally, when the pity party was getting old and the guests seemed to be leaving, I sat down tonight and picked up my Believing God book for the 1st time in days and funny enough the chapter was entitled "Believing God Can Sanctify Your Mouth". In it Beth writes,
"If you and I want to abide and flourish in our Promised Lands, we're going to have to get rid of some bad reporting, faithless talking, and negative grumbling"
OUCH! But what is a good pity party without a little negative grumbling?? Looks like God and Beth just raided my party and now it is time to step back into reality and back to praying for God to move mountains. Does that mean I have to give back the Margarita Machine? :)
About Me
- Ginny
- I am a pastor's wife, mother of 4 kids (2 adopted and 3 with special needs), physical therapist, and photography junky. This is where it all comes together for me. Feel free to join along as I process life out loud.
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8 comments:
Just found your blog and want to come back and read more tomorrow....
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Okay - now I am sitting at my computer laughing out loud!! Love your honesty, girl! Don't you just love how Beth doesn't mince words? Did I tell you I got to meet her last month in DC? So fun. She is just terrific. Anyway - glad to see you are seeing God in all of this, and standing firm in Him in spite of what your eyes see. And no, I don't think you have to give up the margarita machine. :) Love ya!
Ginny, believe it or not, every time I hear "While I'm Waiting" I think of you.
Hang in there!
Yay!!! I read your emails last night (late) and have been praying for you and writing a new email in my head ever since. I still have an email I will send you--haven't written it yet--with some info. I will share with you that I was sitting on while waiting for our Karleigh Mei.
Continue to HOLD FAST!!
Oh...and don't get rid of that Margarita Machine! :)
Blessings,
Jenn
hey girl..
know that you are being prayed for and asking for God's peace to overwhelm you.
and don't ya just hate it when someone or God turns out the lights on your pity party?? I have been there.
I have asked my friend Marianne to pray for you specifically...she and Charlie adopted Joshua from China..and SHE knows what its like to WAIT..to wait on those papers..to wait to move forward. I thought she could lift you up in a special way.
Hope you are blessed in an extraordinary way this week.
Ginny, believe me! Believe me!! I know how difficult this is for you. It is a rather severe obedience God has called you to. Are you up to it? Can you still say, "Yet! Yet I know that my Redeemer lives and on the last day He will lift me up." He is faithful who has promised....
Hangeth thou in there..WITH HIM! Not your wants, WITH HIM. Stand and see the Salvation of your God...He delights to give us the desires of our hearts, when those desires are the same as His desires. Hard to lay things down at the foot of the cross. HARD! I've been there a million times, mayby even more. God gave, can you give too. Give your pity party to Him and say, okay, no more party, just faithfulness... You'll probably not monitor this message, but I know where you are dear heart, I know....
Thanks everyone for your encouragement. Trent and I are really feeling better today and no doubt it is because of your prayers and insight. I am stunned everyday at how people genuinely care about our process enough to follow this and then take time out of their days to pray for us and Ruthie. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Ginny, I am so very excited for you I have been following through your ups and downs and am thrilled to hear the news. I know how you felt when RA's came and the news come that all have been notifed, we ran into the same thing, only to get a call a few hours later that it had been sent to another agency. Blessing to you, I can't wait to watch your journey to China! Praise the Lord - Tracy Downey
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