Monday, June 8, 2009

Never Alone


When you consider adoption you cannot possibly fathom the range of emotions that await you if you choose to proceed.  I remember Trent and I talking one day several years ago about how easy this process was going to be since we already have 2 wonderful kids.  Ha!

I can now say after 2 years and many tears that this has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done and we don't even have her yet.  The last few months have been marked by a sense of great loneliness as Trent and I process things very differently.  He is what you call a crockpot.  He ponders something at a low temperature and then turns up  the heat at the last minute just as it is coming to fruition.  I am a high intensity microwave that can emotionally ascend to something at the push of a button.   This has made it hard for him to understand my response to the waiting process.  Likewise,  I cannot expect others around me to understand my feelings if I could not have even anticipated them myself.  So I often find myself in a group activity thinking about this child but not feeling free to discuss it because I know others don't understand.  

This is where the adoption community has been incredible.  I love reading their concerns, frustrations, and fears because they validate my own as normal.   As much as following their journeys has helped me in this wait, so has turning my eyes to God.  When we are surrounded with friends and family to chat with regarding our concerns, we are less likely to turn to Christ to meet our needs.  This journey has been an incredible process reminding me of who has the plan for my life and who will not only bring it to completion but will also walk every step of the journey with me. 

One of the messages at family camp was on why we suffer from 2 Cor 1:3-11.  
I think it is applicable to much more than waiting on an adoption. Be encouraged

2 Cor 1:3-11. 
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our[a] behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

3 Reasons Why We Suffer from 2 Cor 1:3-11
1. To Comfort Others- v. 3-4   This is not just in the same affliction but in any affliction.  We are better comforters when we have suffered and been comforted
2. To Trust Ourselves Less and God More- v 8-10  This is the most difficult for me to walk in, but in this situation I have no plan B to fall back on which forces me to trust God. 
3. To Praise God if we get Deliverance- v.10.  Because you prayed, God delivered, and now we turn our  face to Him in praise.  I am looking forward to this day. 

In know several of you face suffering from fertility issues to financial issues.  Let's turn our faces to God together as wait for His deliverance. 



3 comments:

Naomi said...

Ginny,
I hope that you get this comment because we have had so many problems getting on line. Someone suggested we use a site which blocks the blocks and I have for the first time ALL week managed to get on your blog!!! It has been killing me not to know whether your RA had arrived but I figured you would tell me in a comment!! And thank you for all your comments!! I just cannot believe that the RA still has not come!! I must have been saying for the last two months now.... it has to be this week!! Oh how I grieve for you and continue to be amazed at at your beautiful witness and perspective. I know you are hurting deep inside but you are being so self less! God will abundantly bless you with your sweet little treasure and all the waiting will really be forgotten!!! I cannot tell you how amazing this is!!! We are so loving our baby and she is so funny, except at night that is but that will be something which will work out in time!!! The day we met Lydia will always be the most wonderful experience just as amazing as giving birth!!! She is sleeping right now and we are about to go to dinner in an hour with Chanda and some others in the group who are leaving tomorrow. It has been such a blessed trip so far and we are excited to see all that God has for us here still. We are so glad that we are staying here until next week!!

Well I have rambled on but I am unable to email you because we still cannot check email. Please leave a comment on the blog letting me know when that RA comes!!! You will hear me shouting with joy all the way form China!! I have so missed reading your blog BTW!!!!

love, Naomi

Cheri said...

Ginny,

You are so right about the range of emotions that adoption has. I believe many people think it's easy when really it is not. I continue to lift your family and Ruthie up in prayer.

I'd like to thank you for the scripture that you posted. I found great comfort in it after a very long and difficult day at in court yesterday.

Anonymous said...

I love this blog!!! Steve and I have always felt that we had all our pregancy stuff in order to have compassion for others in our situation...your #1 reason why we suffer. #3 was a good reminder to ALWAYS give thanks when we are delivered. I am guilty of being frustrated and ungrateful for my 3 children that God gave us so graciously. Ouch! Thank you Lord...even for the sleepless nights when they can't sleep during the thunderstorms. :)shannon