(That can't be comfortable but I am not touching a sleeping baby)
I wish I had more updates but I really don't. Today she has shown some improvements in that she is trying to roll around more and even withdrew her left arm once when she was especially mad at the nurse. She still isn't opening her eyes though. It is kind of what we expected for today. OT and PT are both coming in and OT is working on feeding her. It is like watching a newborn bird eat because she just opens her mouth and moves her head all around with her eyes closed looking for the spoon.
I am still struck by how different she looks from the child I brought into the ER with a fever and arm pain. I have deep rooted fears that I will never see that child again. I don't want a new normal. I want my Maggie back. This is so hard and I am so tired that it makes it a little weepier of an experience today.
Prayers are the same for her to become more alert and open her eyes. We need the swelling on her brain to decrease and for there to be no more clots.
I know God is sovereign but I can honestly say that I am not in favor of His plan for my week. I had a great trip to the lake planned and next week we were going to celebrate Maggie's birthday and Ruthie's gotcha day in San Antonio. I liked my plans better. Just keeping it real here.
That said, I have no regrets in getting her. Knowing what I know now, I would do it all over again. The thought of her enduring this alone in a bed in China both angers me and breaks my heart. She has a family and is being held 15+ hours a day. She calls out for me and I am there. I can't imagine her not having someone to call for when her IV hurts or she is cold. God made sure she had a family and I don't regret the assignment.
My kids have this piece with their train tracks where the tracks go in multiple directions. I feel a little bit like we are standing in the middle of that track with all of these possibilities for directions. I know what train I would like to board but it is not up to me. I was discussing worst case scenarios with a friend yesterday and she intuitively said, "God hasn't given you a ticket for that train yet." It true but it sure is hard not to let your mind go down that track.
So right now it is a lot of waiting in the middle of the circle for what ticket we are issued. Thank you for praying and walking along side us. Thank you for holding us up. I will keep you posted as things change.
8 comments:
Dear sweet Ginny and family, please know that you are all in my prayers. I am so sadden by what Maggie and you are going through, but yet I am so reassured because our God reigns. And our God answers prayers.
Whatever track He will take you on, know that the key phrase here is "HE will take you on". He will be there with you.
Our prayers are being extended to Maggie,; the medical staff and your family.
Edward and Summer Firth (Amy's brother in law in CA).
Karen and I are praying for Maggie's complete recovery and that God will give both of you much peace and strength to get through this. This may be beyond our understanding, but we are blessed to know that God is in control.
Oh dear friends my heart is breaking into pieces for you! Choosing faith over fear is the hardest thing in the world when your world is breaking into pieces. We are standing in the gap for you and believing in miracles. No matter the direction He leads, I am so happy she has you to love her through the pain. There is no Nannie in the world who could love her like a Mommy and Daddy! Keep believing!
So interesting that you used the train track reference because I just was thinking that you all are the "Little Train that COULD" I know you can, I know you can, I know you can! Sending love and prayers.
Maggie is blessed to be part of such a loving family. Hoping and praying for a complete recovery for your beautiful daughter...
Praying
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